Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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