at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
