does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning