living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves