What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
