her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
