She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
