her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
