Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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