Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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