we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
