doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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