its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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