you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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