1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
