So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
