Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
