Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
bring money and cleavage
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
