paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He is an equal opportunity slut.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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