I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You made out with two different species that night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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