So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
