Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize