you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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