guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
