Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
