I just saw a hot homeless man
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
