I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
