Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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