I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
