apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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