Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
love makes seman taste better
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
