are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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