I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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