"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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