yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
