my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.