just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.