And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba