when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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