I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
