we have pet lesbian snakes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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