onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
