I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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