she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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