I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize