It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
