Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize