I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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