It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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