I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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