FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
