so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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