i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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