My sheets look like a crime scene.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
