new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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