why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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