There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
