i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize