when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
