mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
