Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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