she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize