We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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