matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think i have herpe
just one?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
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my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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